Updated: May 31, 2019
When I was in high school, I used to dream about having a boyfriend. My life would be so much more interesting, I thought. I’d feel loved all the time, and I’d have someone to spend my life with. But the truth is, my life didn’t start when I started dating. It had been going for years, and I hadn’t used that time as well as I could have. There are so many benefits of being single. There is a reason why people joke around about being free and not tied down. Looking back, I wish I would’ve done more while I was single, because dating takes A LOT of time. I haven’t been single for a while, but observing my friends who are, sometimes I’m a little jealous. There are so many things I can’t do anymore that they can. So, without further ado, here are some of the benefits of being single:
1. You have time for yourself.
As busy as you think you are when you’re single, it will only get crazier if you start dating someone. You won’t be the only person you have to think of anymore; you’ll have another person’s life to work around and become a part of. Now there are seasons in life when you might not spend a lot of time with your significant other, but a healthy relationship takes sacrifice and a lot of time. Things you think are important are going to have to wait. That’s why when you’re single you should enjoy the time you can spend alone. You can do things that make you happy without worrying about fitting it into someone else’s schedule. It’s so much easier to be productive too, I must add. For example, your grades can definitely suffer if you start dating a guy who doesn’t care about school. Spend this time focusing on getting good grades, finding a job, volunteering, learning new things.
2. You can focus on what you want to accomplish in life.
To go with the last point, you will be a lot freer when trying to figure things out for you. Of course, you don’t have to be single to do what you love, but you’ll have a lot more time to figure it out and start working towards your goal.
3. You can make friends for life.
One of the things I think a lot of people in relationships regret once they’re out of the honeymoon stage is not having any other friends. It’s so easy to forget your friends and hang out with your boyfriend all the time. Here’s my example. I worked really hard to have a good balance between my friends and boyfriend. I planned things with my friends all the time, and the two of us even hang out with friends together, which is still a lot of fun. But I had a really hard time making close friendships because I’d want to spend time with my boyfriend. While other girls had sleepovers and went on weekend trips, I’d leave early or cancel because I wanted to be with him. You can keep a balance, but if you want to be involved in everything your girlfriends are doing, you probably won’t see your bf a lot. So, when you’re single, don’t take it for granted. Make some good friends and go on adventures. Stay up late talking about life. Visit each other’s families. These girls could become lifetime friends and create lasting memories with you.
4. You can grow so much spiritually.
Being single is probably the stage you’ll have the most time to spend diving into God’s word and growing in your faith. You don’t have anyone else to worry about, and you can spend the time reflecting and becoming aware of the things you need to improve in. It’s also the best time to go out and serve, trying different kinds of ministry that might take more time than you could spend away from home once you have a family. Getting out and working together with other Christians can impact your spiritual life so much. Go on a mission trip. Join a small group that does outreach in your community. Meet other Christians who have the same mindset as you. Don’t waste this time that you’ll never have once you’re married.
5. You can figure out what kind of guy you actually want to be with BEFORE you start dating him.
Once your married, you’re supposed to accept your significant other for who he is, no matter what. You have to learn to live with his flaws and tolerate the things that drive you crazy. But that is NOT the case before you start dating. You have no obligation to the guy asking you out. You can tell him no if he chews wrong. A lot of people end up in hard and miserable marriages because they don’t know what they want, how their partner is different than them, and how much those differences will affect the rest of the relationship.
I want to make sure you know I’m not saying to wait around for the perfect guy. He doesn’t exist. But know the kind of guy you want to be with. Don’t give up your standards because you don’t think you have any. Decide before you start dating what your boundaries will be. (And don’t turn someone away just because his chewing annoys you. Even though you’re perfectly in your rights to do so.)
All of these points come to one thing: Be thankful for the stage you are in. It won’t last forever. My motto is to thrive in every situation I’m in. And that’s not easy, because I often yearn for the next thing. But being unsatisfied won’t help you live a fulfilling life. That’s why you need to learn to enjoy where you are in life and use that time wisely on things you won’t be able to do late on in life. Single life is a lot of fun! Live it up while working on things in your life for the future.