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#friendzoned: 3 Ways to Break Out

So last week, we talked about what to do to keep a guy in the friendzone. But what about when it’s the opposite? What if you’re the one in the friendzone, you like the guy, and he’s not interested at all? How do you get out of that awkward place?

As girls, we often think that the guy has to make the first move, and until then, we have to sit around and wait. And I think there is something to wanting a guy to be a man and step up to ask you out. But if the guy in question only sees you as a friend, waiting around is not going to do much good.

Well, you don’t want to be pushy. And you don’t want him to think you’re creepily obsessed with him. So what can you do? Here are some ideas to help you along.

1. Show him you have a life outside of him.

Have you ever heard that saying that guys always want the one they can’t get? There is some truth to that; guys are supposed to be the one doing the pursuing, putting in some of the work. So if you’re always following him around, texting him, being available for everything, he’s probably not going to be that attracted to you. How do you do that practically? You can definitely still text him and be available if he wants to go somewhere, but you need to limit those times. Don’t not be yourself. But don’t be too much. Do things with other people. Spend time on your hobbies. Don’t drop everything for him. Show him that you have a life that you care about, and for him to be a part of it, he’ll have to value your time. This’ll make you seem more “valuable” to him too.

2. Be an exciting person.

You’re probably reading this, wondering what in the world I’m thinking. “Be exciting?” You can’t just do that, you either are or you aren’t. Well, actually, there are ways to become more interesting and well rounded. If you’re friends with this guy already, you probably have some things in common that you enjoy talking about. But what could you become more knowledgeable about? Do you know about what’s going on in the world? Do you know anything about his favorite team? Guys enjoy being able to talk about things with girls. Keith and I bonded over our interest in theology, but I didn’t know a thing about classic rock or soccer, both of which he is really into. So I had to do some learning. But it was fun. It’s a good thing, getting out of your comfort zone, learning more about the world and different views. And don’t limit yourself to just things the guy likes. Expand your interests.

3. Be direct.

Confidence is attractive. Guys like to say that they are the ones who pursue, but they’re also really bad at reading signals. A lot of guys are afraid to ask a girl out because the girl’s shown no interest at all. Sometimes it’s worth getting it out in the open and letting the guy do with it what he wants. Yes, this could be an awkward conversation, but if you play it off confidently and don’t act insecure, it can make you very attractive in the guy’s eyes. You can do this by not caring as much what the guy thinks of you. Be yourself, and be cool with it if the guy says no. If you take yourself too seriously, it’s going to make him uncomfortable. Whereas if you show him that no matter what he answers, it’s not going to shake you, it’ll most likely impress him. Not many girls are bold and confident enough to do something like that.

I think the most important lesson is to become more confident in yourself, invest in becoming a more well-rounded person. This will not only give you a better chance with a guy, it will make you happier in your own skin. Have fun, enjoy your life, and don’t feel like you have to have a boyfriend to feel complete. Your energy will attract the right guy at the right time.

I hope this is helpful! Good luck with that special guy!

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