#friendzoned: 5 Ways to Get Over a Breakup

I miss him.

I miss everything about him.

Everywhere I look, I see things that remind me of him.

I walk into a store, and a song that we used to listen to is playing on the radio.

The scent of him still lingers on things he gave me.

Anything I do, my first thought is that I want to share with him. I can’t get him out of my mind.

He’s everywhere.


These thoughts swirled in my head for months after my boyfriend and I broke up. I’d never cried so much as those first few weeks without him. I thought my life was over. I thought I’d never find anyone like him. I thought I’d never be loved again.

Breakups are hard. Especially if you aren’t the one wanting to break up. One day, you’re sharing your entire life with someone, and the next day, they’re a stranger. It’s the strangest, saddest thought.

I wish there were a quick and easy fix for a broken heart, but I have yet to find one. The only real healing comes with time. But there are some things you can do to speed up the process.


1. Let it all out.

As the cliché says, “It’s okay to not be okay.” Trying to hide your emotions and pretending that you’re doing fine is not the answer. Bottling up your emotions will just make them all the more intense when they finally come out. Because they will. Just accept that you will be sad, you will cry, and it’s okay. The first few days, remember. Look back. Grieve for what you lost. It won’t be the same as it was. You need to process that thought. Talk about it. Write it down. If you’re into music, write a song. It’s therapeutic.


2. Don’t jump into another relationship.

So many people try to fill the void from their ex with another guy. They can’t handle the loneliness and think that another person is the answer to heartbreak. If anything, it’s the opposite. Not only are you not dealing with your emotions, you’re messing with someone else’s too. Bringing a guy into it will only make your life so much more complicated. If you want to start dating again, make sure you give yourself enough time to get over your ex first. It’s not fair to the new guy to use him as a tool to get over your love. The longer you wait to start dating, the better, in my opinion. Just make sure you’re ready before you start toying with the idea of dating again.


3. Get out and do things.

There is a time and a place for grieving and being alone, and you don’t want to rush that process. But your life can’t end when you go through a breakup. The world moves on, and eventually you have to move on too. The best way to do that is to get out of the house and not spend all of your time alone. Start working out; having a more active lifestyle releases more endorphins and you’ll automatically feel better. Find a hobby you enjoy, join a club or start learning an instrument. Singleness gives you so much more time that you’d normally spend with your boyfriend to do things you love. Use that time wisely. You only have so much. Create some new personal goals. You don’t need somebody to achieve your dreams.

4. Spend time with friends.

To go along with getting out, try to spend as much time as you can with other people. Make new friends. Create new memories with old ones. Remind yourself that there are still great people out there and your life isn’t over.


5. Talk it out.

I’m a big believer in talking to people and getting a second opinion. Someone who’s older, wiser, and has been through this already can give you a lot of advice on moving on. Talk to a parent, mentor, or an older friend. Get all the frustration out. Maybe the other person can show you some things you can’t see. Or she can just comfort you by showing you you’re not alone.


Don’t freak out. Take a deep breath. It is gonna be okay. Yes, it’ll hurt for a while, but time will heal. You’ll start to understand why things happened the way they did. And don’t despair. There are people who love you who will get you through it. Most importantly, God will get you through it.

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© 2020 by Nancy E Wood