I’m in a waiting stage right now. And I’m one of the most impatient people I know. It’s not easy to sit back and wait for something to happen. I like to know, act, and get to where I want to be.
I’m so excited about the book I just wrote for you, but unfortunately writing it is just the beginning of the journey. It’s been months since I’ve finished the first manuscript, and I’m still waiting on an agent to accept it and start on the next stage. It isn’t fun. It feels like a waste of time sometimes. But there’s nothing else I can really do other than keep writing book proposals.
Are you in a stage like this? Maybe you’re waiting to get a job or you reeeeally want to have a boyfriend finally. You know what you want but it seems like there’s nothing you can do to move forward and achieve your goal. It sucks. I know. Here are some truths I found and am trying to apply while I’m waiting.
1. Stop wallowing in self-pity.
Feeling sorry for myself was easy. I just sat around, wondering why in the world the agent didn’t want my manuscript. The story is brilliant, the topic is relevant, and there is a huge need in the market for this genre. But the more entitled I became, the less productive I was. I didn’t feel like working on anything else, and I didn’t want to keep trying.
Needless to say, this approach doesn’t help anything. Feeling bad for yourself is selfishness, and it doesn’t get you any closer to reaching whatever it is you really want. It hurts you and the people around you.
The antidote?
2. Instead of asking “why,” ask “what.”
“Why does nobody want to be with me?”
“Why didn’t my family member get better?”
“Why is nothing happening?”
Questions like this leave you frustrated, confused, and angry at someone— maybe a person, maybe God. Instead, if you ask, “What can I learn in this period of waiting? What can I do to become a stronger person?” you can actually grow a lot. It’s not always easy to find the “what,” but changing this one thing will make a huge difference during the hard times.
3. Focus on others instead of yourself.
It’s so easy to get caught up in your own little problems and forget about everyone else around you. My brother and I were surprised to find out about this one year in our lives when we both had our hearts broken by different people, and neither of us knew that about the other because we were so caught up in our own sadness.
When you feel overwhelmed with your own problems, look outside of yourself. See someone around you who’s struggling with something and reach out to her. Not only will you forget about yourself for a little bit, you’ll also have the joy of helping someone in need. There are very few things that make me as happy as the feeling of changing someone’s life for the better. It doesn’t even have to be a big thing.
I’ve heard that attitude is everything, and I’m starting to think there’s something to it. The way you approach an issue will determine the way you live, the person you become. If you’re aggravated about something you’re waiting on, think it through. Is there anything you can change to make your waiting time better? Are you focusing on yourself or do you look outside?